Oblivion
by MeteorLeopard
Summary: They say that history repeats itself.
1. The Human

**Title: Oblivion**

**Author: MeteorLeopard (HoneyBadger)**

**This (very short) one-shot was heavily inspired by a stunning picture done by "sadista0907" on DeviantArt. Go here to look at it: art/HitsuKarin-Week-3-Snow-364091107**

**This is set somewhere after Ichigo finding out the truth about his mother. However, it can also be at some point in the 17 months after losing his powers after defeating Aizen. This one-shot only has HINTS of spoilers and nothing is bluntly given away, so it should be okay to read.**

* * *

Karin had known what she was getting herself into. She had known that she would have to stand before her family and smile as half of her very being was ripped away. But it is alright. If Ichi-nii can endure it, then so can she. And it is time for Ichi-nii to stop suffering. It is time for him to stop falling into despair. It is time for him to be whole again. Even if it means that she will not be. She knows all this.

It does not mean that she is ready for it though.

Ichigo is standing in the circle about five meters away from her. Urahara had drawn it earlier and instructed Ichi-nii to stand in it and not step out regardless of what happened. She is standing in her own little circle. Urahara has enlisted the help of two captains to assist in this ritual.

"Karin." Ichigo is speaking, and from the tone alone Karin knows that he is going to try and convince her otherwise. "You don't have to-"

She stops him. "Ichi-nii. Stop being stupid." And for a second, Karin thinks that this might provoke him and get him to yell at her, like he should be, scolding her for something silly. But he doesn't. Instead she watches as resignation floods his eyes. She hates that look. It's like back then when he had no reiatsu. Like when, unable to see ghosts, he'd become a ghost himself. So she plasters a smile onto her face, one that she is sure he can see through. "Stop being so down, Ichi-nii! And make sure to stay in there, yeah?"

Urahara pipes up then, snapping his fan. "Yes, yes, Kurosaki-san. You and your sister must both stay in your circles." He points his fan at the both of them. "If either of you step out, the ritual is cancelled, but Karin-san does not regain her inherent abilities. Lost. Poof. Gone." The man pauses for further emphasis. "So once we begin its all or nothing, got it?" He sounds too happy.

She nods. And then, seeing her acquiescence, Ichigo nods too.

Urahara turns towards the two captains standing behind her circle and takes his own position behind Ichigo's. "Begin!"

Karin watches numbly as the white circle around her feet lights up in a pale blue glow. This will be it. The last time that she will sense the spirits of the dead. Having one's innate abilities sucked out feels strange. Somewhat chilling. At least it doesn't hurt, but still Karin thinks she might cry.

The last of the pressure dissipates from her body and Karin feels herself falling to her knees. Vaguely she registers Urahara keeping Ichigo within his own circle as it begins to glow blue. Karin feels her lips twitch into a smile. _Pretty_.

Two hands alight on her shoulders before the body rushes around to fall to their own knees before her. Her smile trembles but holds when she sees his distressed face.

"Karin-"

She shushes him, lifting a hand to run it through his messy white hair. Perhaps she should have given him that pink hairclip that she'd always mockingly promised him after all. "Guess that's it."

Whiteness is already eating at his edges. His hands clasping hers are feeling flimsy. "Karin."

She leans their foreheads together, desperate for just a little more contact, another last touch. Just a bit more, just a bit. "Toushirou. You'd better remember me, Toushirou." He doesn't correct her. He is trying to choke back the impending loneliness, just as she is. It is a large, hideous lump stuck somewhere between her throat and heart.

"You idiot," he mutters. "I'll see you. I'll keep watch over you."

She smacks his arm. "Don't you dare. What are you, a stalker?" He is half gone, white fog having consumed his captain's haori and most of his legs by now.

He seems frantic all of a sudden, reaching to his vanishing chest and ripping the star-shaped clip from its chain. Karin fancies she can hear the distant clunk of Hyourinmaru's blade hitting the ground. He thrusts it at her, curling her fingers around it. "Keep it," he breathes harshly. "Keep it safe." And right then Karin knows that it's not a clip that he's giving her.

His waist. His back. His shoulders. His arms. His neck.

And then he looks at her, and the terrible pity in his eyes breaks something in her.

A shaking hand is reaching towards his cheek, racing the oblivion for a last touch. "Toushirou-"

Her hand meets empty air.

* * *

**A/N: I made it purposefully vague to let you all think about it for a minute. Let me know if you have any questions! **


	2. The Brother

**Title: Oblivion: The Brother**

**Author: MeteorLeopard (HoneyBadger)**

**Another chapter, because you guys asked. Thank you so much for your support and reviews! They're really really appreciated. :)**

* * *

If only he'd known.

She is sitting across the breakfast table from him, keeping her eyes lowered and chopsticks in her hand. Yuzu is trying hard, she really is, but there are some things that even a twin can't heal. And time doesn't do much either.

It's been two months. Those are probably the worst. Waking up expecting. And finding nothing. Expecting to sense the ghosts downstairs or the strangely-comforting weight of the spirit particles in the air. Gone. It's the loss of something that you've tasted and can't ever have back. The bitterness is always sitting at the back of the tongue. It's probably why Karin isn't complaining about having to eat pickles.

Ichigo watches her and Yuzu leave for school. The early morning sunlight catches the bronze star clip attached to her bag. Ichigo knows exactly why she keeps it. Hope is a terrible bastard.

Her report card is lying on the counter and Ichigo picks it up. He's not worried about her grades. They've all gone up. Probably because she stopped playing soccer. "It's time to focus on the future," she told him two weeks ago, looking down at her Maths book. Ichigo noted that her Biology Project on the Arctic was lying open next to her Japanese Classics book on dragons. What interests Ichigo in her report card is a letter from her teacher to Isshin.

The woman is asking for a meeting with him concerning Karin. Apparently Karin has been exhibiting some changes in behaviour. Apathy, inattentiveness and lack of enthusiasm. Ichigo shrugs it off; he'd been worse. At least Karin isn't going to school with bandages anymore.

But still. That moment.

Ichigo feels his own bitterness rising at the thought. That moment. When he'd realised. When he'd _seen_ what he was doing to his little sister. How could he not have noticed? In hindsight it is clear. Karin's abrupt disappearances. Her extended soccer practices that lasted into the night. The humour in her eyes. The happier clothes. The strange new phone that she spent so much of her time typing on. It's all clear now. Too bad he'd only seen it when Toushirou had been clinging to her while she tried to keep a brave face for him.

A hand alights on his back and Ichigo turns his head. Rukia is standing behind him, head lowered. She knows what he's thinking. She always does.

"Idiot," she mutters, trying to be angry. "Stop moping around so much." But she sounds sad herself, so it doesn't help. This time he must be the one to get angry. So he does. And she yells back and he gets irritated and pokes her. She smacks him and he reels back dramatically, crying out about how violent she is. Her small smile at routine is what he needs and Ichigo relaxes too, leaning back against the counter.

Rukia takes the letter from his hands. She reads it. "You were worse than this."

Ichigo doesn't bother to deny it. He knows that he was. Karin is dealing with her loss well, all things considered. Just like him, she has lost someone precious. Only unlike him, she is not going to get them back. Urahara has already told her that.

"I'm supposed to protect her." He states it like a fact and sees that Rukia wants to argue. He cuts her off. "I am, Rukia. Don't tell me otherwise." Her face crumples a little and he shoots her a crooked smile. Then his body sags, the fight leaving it for a few seconds. "Some big brother I am, taking something so important to her."

Rukia lets him wallow for a moment before taking her cue. It's her turn to be angry.

* * *

Ichigo doesn't expect much when he hears his phone ringing. But he answers and hears Urahara on the other side, a serious tone to his words. Ichigo feels dread plummeting into his stomach, sitting there like a frozen bar of lead.

"Yes?" he asks, carefully. Rukia looks up from her bargain romance novel.

Urahara's voice sounds tinny and hollow through the speakers. "Kurosaki-san, come over to the store. You need to pick up your sister."

* * *

Karin spends an evening in the clinic with Isshin watching over her. He carefully stands watch above his child's sleeping form, any joking smile gone for the time being. Ichigo watches his old man carefully, realising exactly how much danger Karin is in.

"She was lucky," Isshin starts, voice hoarse from screaming obscenities at Urahara earlier. "What a reckless child."

Ichigo knows. Only an idiot would rush at what they can't see. For a moment he wishes that Karin didn't look up to him so much. And for an eternity, he wishes that she didn't have to experience what he did.

Isshin leaves the room after three more hours, claiming to need some coffee. Ichigo makes him promise to bring him a cup too. That's when Karin moves, turning her head towards him and smiling with her eyes.

"You were being stupid."

"No I wasn't." She whispers her reply, being sure to keep still. Her body must be sore under the bandages.

"You would have died." Ichigo says this slowly, testing his response and hoping that he's wrong. He prays that Karin is not that depressed.

"No I wouldn't have." She gives a shallow sigh, wincing at a pain in her chest. "Ururu and Jinta were on their way. I called them beforehand."

"So then-"

"I jumped in when the Hollow went for the little boy and the they-" She coughs here. "-hadn't shown up yet." She's looking at him fiercely, almost defiantly. "I'm not going to get myself killed, Ichi-nii." Her eyes are telling him that he's an idiot for ever thinking that she would. "I would never do that."

Ichigo feels relief, a goofy smile spreading over his face. "That's good. I was worried that you weren't dealing with it." He pauses here, wondering whether to tell his sister this. "I... I thought about it a few times. When I couldn't see." His hands clench his pants and he can't look at her, can't face her shocked expression. "I-"

"Ichi-nii." He looks up at her then, because that's what she wanted. And he's surprised, because she is not shocked, just irritated. "You're comparing my situation to your own, aren't you?"

He sits up straight. "Of course! Aren't you? This is exactly the same! You are also-"

"It's not the same," she interrupts him.

He's confused now, wondering if maybe Karin is still delirious. "What?"

"It's not the same," she says again, "because Rukia forgave you." Ichigo stares at his sister, not quite understanding. "Toushirou hasn't forgiven me for leaving him like that."

Now Ichigo is frowning. "What are you talking about? Of course Toushirou forgives you! He's a good guy. You're just being de-"

"I'm not." She is firmer now, mouth pulled tight at the corners and eyes furrowed in pain that's not from her wounds. Her voice wobbles. "I know I'm not. Because he was there. Today. He was in the park today. Where the Hollow attacked the little boy."

Ichigo hears the words but doesn't understand them. "What?"

Karin has closed her eyes now, teeth digging into her lower lip to hold herself together. "He was coming to save the child I'm sure. He had those green pills in his hand, the ones that let you leave the gigai. He saw me." She forces a deep, rattling breath. "He left."

_What?_

"He left?" Ichigo finds it strange to say those words. "He would have..." He can't finish his sentence. Karin turns her head away and Ichigo could swear that he hears quiet sniffling.

Isshin is coming back with the coffee and almost spills it when Ichigo shoves past him, running up to his room. He is probably imagining the words, but he can almost hear Karin's whisper.

_"He hates me."_

* * *

**A/N: So... it was supposed to be a one-shot before this, but I got carried away. Also, I kept getting reviews telling me how heartbroken I was making everyone feel. So here ya go. More misery. Ain't I nice? :D**


	3. The Subordinate

**Title: Oblivion - The Subordinate**

**Author: MeteorLeopard (HoneyBadger)**

**Thank you so much for all of your reviews! I'm blown away by your support! And so, I've decided to stick to a regular update schedule: Every Wednesday. Every Wednesday you guys shall receive another chapter. This I promise! **

**Also, I've found that I rather like people ranting at me. Someone called me a troll. THANK YOU! **

**And now we see the other side of the coin! Onto the chapter! Oh, and I'm sorry for the vague spoilers.**

* * *

He is staring at his paperwork again. In all her years as his fukutaicho, Rangiku has never seen him this distracted. Not once. But this is big. Not someone-tries-to-kill-him-big. This is the kind of 'big' that shakes him to his core.

There's one time in the past, when Momo attacked him, that she remembers her little captain being devastated. The other is when their previous captain left. But neither time stopped Toushirou from doing his work. His brush would move as though guided. Now it sits still on the paper, ink blotting what little he has managed to do.

She sets a sakazuki in front of him, waiting for his eyes to travel to it. She expects his brow to crease at the sight of the sake, but it doesn't. Instead he merely mumbles, "You shouldn't be drinking that during work hours." Then he goes back to staring at the paper.

She's worried then.

Pulling a chair up to his desk, she sits herself down and watches in a kind of odd fascination as the ink spreads sluggishly over his papers, seeping into the documents, staining them black.

"It's been three months," she says. She doesn't expect an answer.

"One," he corrects and she looks up at her captain, startled. His head is bowed so far that she can't see his face. "I saw her a month ago."

And it all makes sense then. That day. It had been the first time that Rangiku had come to the office early, and also the first time that she has ever seen her captain drunk. Actually, he had been passed out cold over his desk, but the empty bottles were evidence enough. Momo had helped her get Toushirou to the couch where she had spent the day mopping his feverish brow with a damp cloth.

"Is that why..." She leaves her sentence hanging, knowing that he knows what she's talking about.

He nods briefly.

She watches him again, searching for a clue. Why would seeing Karin-chan, the girl that he has come to treasure, be causing him this much misery? "Did you talk?"

He shakes his head.

"Did she see you?"

He nods.

Rangiku keeps silent. What more is there to say? It sounds like her captain saw her again briefly, but left before-

"It was a Hollow attack," he whispers. For a second, Rangiku thinks she hears him wrong. "A Hollow attack," he repeats. "A Hollow attack."

His fists clench over the inky paper, crushing it between shaking fingers. Ink stains his skin. "And I watched."

She feels cold all of a sudden. So very cold, because her captain's delirious, feverish mutterings of '_I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry-_' suddenly make sense. The ink is creeping up his fingers.

"She was running at the Hollow. Towards death. Towards me." His whisper carries through the room. "I was going to let the Hollow-" He breaks off, head falling into his hands, black spreading to his hair. "Kill her. So that- so that I-" He is gripping too tight, blunt nails raking over scalp as red cracks trickle down his wrists.

So that he can see her again.

* * *

This is not the first time that Rangiku has cursed the law that forbids the interaction between Shinigami and humans. Because that is all that Karin is now. A human.

She kneels in supplication before the soutaicho, back of the neck bared and voice cracking. "Please!" she begs. "Please let him go back!"

The other captains watch, but none step forward to help.

"We've already lost one captain of the 10th to a love with a human," she says, hoping, praying. "Please, allow this relationship! Do not cut her from my captain's life!"

The bang of the wooden staff on the floor is like the strike of a gravel. And it too proclaims a heavy sentence.

* * *

She can see that he's trying. His paperwork has picked up again. He goes out to supervise his Division members' training more regularly. He goes for tea with Ukitake. He chats to Momo, whose sunny smile is falling flat. Momo has her own demons to deal with, after all. And so Rangiku tries to help wherever she can. She tries to come in early, snatch up a pile or two of documents to do on her own or force the Third Seat to deal with.

When Toushirou is out of paperwork, he gets up and goes for a walk. Rangiku is always pushing down the worry that he will one day decide to simply not come back. Yet at the same time she can't help but secretly hope that he will follow in their previous captain's footsteps. If happiness is to be found at the end of that particular road, she firmly believes that her little captain deserves it.

* * *

When Kira comes to him asking very formally for permission to court Hinamori-kun, Rangiku can see the temptation to refuse flash across his face. Misery loves company. And the suffocating feeling of isolation is a bitter thing.

But then he drops his brush from his white-fingered grip and slumps his shoulders. "Go ahead." Rangiku feels as though he has just pronounced his own death sentence. When Kira leaves, relief upon his face and gratitude in his stance, Toushirou doesn't look up from his ruined paperwork.

"Ridiculous." He grits his teeth, eyes dark. "Asking permission for something like this..."

His fingers resume their tight grip on his brush and Rangiku hopes that he will be alright tonight.

* * *

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!**


	4. The Father

**Title: Oblivion - The Father**

**Author: MeteorLeopard (HoneyBadger)**

**Alright! Another chapter! Next update is, as always, Wednesday. If any of you are confused as to what Karin is doing, refer to what Ishida is doing with his father after returning from the Rukia-rescue mission.**

**Also! LOOK OUT FOR ANOTHER Genie of the Teapot CHAPTER THIS SATURDAY! :D **

* * *

"You owe Masaki you owe Masaki you owe Masaki you o-"

With a snarl, his friend snaps, "Fine! But cease your incessant prattling!"

Nagging is such an effective weapon after all.

* * *

The first few times that his daughter returns home with broken bones and bleeding skin, he is worried. Now he is relieved to see her like that. At least her heart has not been pierced yet. He trusts Ryuken's judgement and aim, he really does. But it is hard for a father to watch his child suffer such injuries.

The new life in her eyes is worth the pain in his though, so he keeps his silence.

Ichigo is often away now. He suspects that Rukia-chan is trying to distract him. Ichigo is already feeling guilty enough about ripping away Karin's reiatsu, her link to half of her identity. Isshin remembers forcibly stopping Ichigo from running off to the Soul Society last month. He had been in a rage, shouting and clawing, raving about murderous shrimps and tearing them apart. The reiatsu from Ichigo had been dark and dense, and Isshin had needed to step into his own Shinigami form to restrain his son.

He watches now as the clock on the wall strikes two in the morning. His daughter has yet to return, and Isshin fears that tonight is when she will see again. Yuzu is curled up beside him on the couch, half-oblivious to what is occurring in her family. It is not the first time that Isshin wonders whether he should tell her everything.

The ringing telephone startles them both. Isshin moves to answer it while Yuzu sits up, rubbing sleepily at her eyes.

_'She is finished for today. Come pick her up.'_ Ryuken's voice sounds from the other side of the line before Isshin even has the time to utter a greeting.

There's a bit of perverse relief settling into his bones when he hears this. "I see."

Ryuken remains silent for a short while, and Isshin can imagine the man frowning. _'She is weak, but has a strong spirit_.'

Isshin feels his lips twitch slightly. "Just like her mother."

The conversation ends there, because that is all that needs to be said. Tomorrow, Karin will resume her training, because she is determined to see again, whatever the consequence.

* * *

It is a week later that he receives a guest. For a minute, he is surprised, but then allows a fond smile to spread across his lips. He is still short but seems older, more mature. A young man.

They sit down for tea and Isshin asks how the Division is running. The captain nods slightly, replying evenly that it is going well. Heavy silence cloaks them both.

"I-"

He stops Toushirou then, a hand held up for silence. "Don't apologise." He drains the last liquid from his cup, setting it down upon the coasters that Yuzu insists they use. "Just tell me why you are here."

Toushirou seems to stiffen, a living statue, still staring at the table.

"I hate it," he whispers. "I hate what happened, what I did. That I listened." Toushirou is shaking now, and Isshin knows the kind of steam that he needs to blow off. "That I let us be separated." Isshin thinks that he may understand this young man too well. _Young man_. The term sticks in his mind again. When had that happened?

But Karin is no girl anymore either.

So he feigns an air of nonchalance, leaning back and tilting his head towards the ceiling. "So?" he asks. "What are you going to do about it?" He expects a definitive answer; a sturdy resolution; a firm belief. Instead-

"I can't exactly do very much."

Isshin glances at the defeated slump to Toushirou's shoulders. He has been beaten into submission.

"I'm needed in the Soul Society. I'm a captain. I can't run away. They'd find me. They know where I'd go. If I live in a gigai, I won't age. Karin will. If I don't, then Karin can't even see me. She can't defend herself. I'd put her in danger. From the Hollows and the Soul Society."

Isshin hears the defeat in his voice, the hopelessness in his tone. Perhaps the news of Karin's progress should be kept away from him after all. _One last chance_. "So if you have all the answers, why are you here?"

Toushirou doesn't seem to move. He looks sickly, thin and beaten, shoulders hunched, hands fisted and head hung low.

Isshin tries very hard not to lose his temper. Reluctance is eating away at the young captain. It needs to be stamped out. _One last chance_.

"It all comes down to a basic question, Toushirou." Their eyes meet across the table and Isshin is sure to place gravity upon his next words. "How much do you want this?"

Toushirou does nothing, merely stares back at him with wide, wondering eyes.

_Chance lost_.

Isshin sighs, tired, wondering how the determined youth got turned into a frightened child. Perhaps not a young man yet after all... "Get out of my house."

The shock from the young captain is almost palpable.

"Get out of my house, Hitsugaya-taicho. Someone as cowardly as you has no right to be sitting here where courageous people live. Where a woman gave her life for her child, a girl gave up part of her very _being_ for her brother, the brother gave up his life to protect others and a captain traded his station for the right thing. Get out of here. Go back to your office. Come back when you have found your resolve."

And he leaves.

Isshin stares at the table for a long time, frowning. Karin has enough unrest in her life. And though she will be angry at him if she ever finds out, Isshin stands by his role of father to protect her. He won't keep Toushirou away forever. Once Hitsugaya-taicho has found his resolve and become Toushirou once more, then Isshin will step aside. Hope for the best.

The phone rings again and Isshin moves to answer it, distracted. "Kurosaki-clinic, how ma-"

'_Kurosaki_.'

The voice makes him pause, all else forgotten.

_'Come to the hospital_.'

The dial tone sounds like an ominous roar.

* * *

He stares, shaking, at his daughter lying on the bed. Her eyes are closed and she's smiling a little. He wishes she's having a good dream.

"It was unforeseen. Where she got the energy from to twitch at the last second I am not sure, but I'd loosed the arrow and-"

Isshin's fist strikes Ryuken's face and for a second, Isshin doesn't care if he snapped the man's neck or not.

* * *

**Hehehe. Review.**


	5. The Captain

**Title: Oblivion - The Captain**

**Author: MeteorLeopard (HoneyBadger)**

**Now, I know that a lot of you are disappointed with me that I didn't write the whole Ichigo-Toushirou confrontation. But since I'm breaking the norms of a Hitsukarin story anyway, let's just break one more. I promise, you shall not be disappointed. No, wait... you probably will be. :D**

* * *

He comes back to find the office in chaos. More shocking, Matsumoto is running around with papers. She's shouting at the Fourth Seat to find the L-12 Form, no, the blue one; the blue one!

He cautiously steps over a tethering pile, careful not to bump anything. "Matsumoto?"

She whips around at his voice, eyes wide and slightly frantic. "Taicho! There you are! We got a whole lot of filing from the 6th Division because of some training accident involving one of the new recruits to our- You know what, it doesn't matter. Take these-" she dumps the stack into his arms "-and go fill them out!" She marches off, leaving him there, and turns to see him staring blankly.

"What are you doing, Taicho? Hurry up!"

Somehow, oddly, those words strike something in him. It's strange. There's a sensation in his chest. Like he'd been walking in a daze for the past months. Ever since he waved his hand before her eyes and she could not see him. Ever since then. And Kurosaki Isshin's words still ring in his head. _Come back when you have found your resolve_.

"You're right," he says, his voice clearing as his mind does. "What _am_ I doing?"

He drops the documents and runs from the room.

* * *

She's hitting him with a spoon. A soup ladle, to be exact.

"I hate you I hate you I hate you!"

He's trying to flinch, but really he knows he deserves it. Whatever this girl hates him for, he deserves it. When he'd stepped into the kitchen a minute earlier in his gigai, the girl had stopped chopping the onions. Perhaps that was why her eyes were red.

"I hate you I hate you I hate you-"

So he takes it. Until Kurosaki comes to tear the girl away. "Yuzu," he says. "Enough." But the orange-haired boy is looking longingly at the ladle himself, and Toushirou does take a step back then.

He clears his throat and tries to brush the mottled vegetables from his shirt. "I've come to see her." He receives blank looks from the two siblings. "You won't change my mind."

Kurosaki does not reply and the soup ladle drops from Yuzu's fingers as she begins sobbing, great heaving gulps that make her chest tight and her knees buckle. Toushirou watches, terrified.

"Sorry, Toushirou." Kurosaki is saying, head bowed and back turned, hands fisted in his pockets. "But you can't see her." He wants to protest that he can and that she can see him too, because he's decided, but Kurosaki says, "She's dead."

His own world is spinning then and he thinks he stumbles into a wall.

"Yesterday," Kurosaki is saying. "The funeral was yesterday." Then he does turn to look at him, and Toushirou can see the blame, the anger. "She died thinking you hate her."

* * *

He tries to find her. He really does. But Rukongai is big, and Karin is just one girl. One girl. That's what the soutaicho called her too when he forbade Toushirou from going to search for her, when the soutaicho reprimands him for attacking the Quincy who ended her life. He's glad that he doesn't listen this time.

But still, that awful phrase is playing in his head. _She died thinking you hate her_.

In the past, he had his reason, but had no resolve.

Now, he has found his resolve, but his reason is gone. So he will find her and make it right again, because he has to.

_Too little too late_.

* * *

Kurosaki Ichigo sends him a package. Inside, he finds his star clip, the one he'd given Karin when he was about to disappear from her sight. He swallows the lump in his throat. Alongside it is a note from the family.

"Because she'd want you to have it. Keep it safe until you find her."

He carries it once more, this time a reminder of his resolve, because he'd given it to Karin then as a reminder of him, a reminder that she held his heart. Now it is a reminder to him, to remember that he holds her fate. He will see her once more. His resolve stands strong.

* * *

Matsumoto is telling him to give it up, that Karin is dead and lost to the masses in Rukongai. He tells her to work faster so that he'll have more time to comb the districts. He will not give up on her again, because the last time he did it killed a part of him.

Momo is worried for his health, so he agrees to sleep more. He spends the nights with Granny in Rukongai, for a shorter commute.

Kyouraku tries to invite him out drinking, and Toushirou refuses until he realises that the bars they visit are often in Rukongai. So he goes along and spends his time glancing about, sometimes asking questions if anyone has seen a girl that fits Karin's description. Unfortunately there are many young girls with black hair and dark eyes. He tries anyway. Ukitake tries to tell him to give it a while, things will work out, he's pushing himself too hard.

"It's not about pushing myself too hard," Toushirou explains over a cup of tea one day. "It's about doing something about it. I will never do nothing again."

And for him, that's fine.

* * *

Urahara comes to see him. The eccentric man looks vaguely out of place in the 10th Division's office. Toushirou can see why he didn't return after the war; the man no longer belongs with the Shinigami.

"Urahara," he greets, looking back at his work. He must finish quickly. Then he can go search again.

"Morning, Hitsugaya-taicho. Nice day, isn't it?"

He hums vaguely in reply.

"I hear that you're searching for Kurosaki-san?"

"Karin," he corrects, filling out forms, focused.

"Yes, yes," Urahara says, fanning himself. "You know, I was wondering when you would come to visit me, in search of the answers that I always hold."

That does make him pause.

"Hitsugaya-taicho, you do realise that, even if you do find her, she will not remember you?"

Toushirou's hands clench around his brush. "Yes." Because he does know that. He is hoping for a miracle.

"Yet you are still determined to find her?"

Toushirou takes a fortifying breath. "Yes." He looks up, glaring. "Is there a point to your visit, Urahara, or are you here simply to torment me?"

"Not at all. In fact," the man snaps his fan closed, "I have something of interest for you." He fishes something from the sleeve of his coat. A light blue pill comes to light and Urahara tosses it at him. "Her memories," he explains, looking serious. Toushirou stares at the pill he has caught in wonder.

"When you find her, give her this," Urahara continues. "She will remember everything. Including you."

And for the first time in a long while, Toushirou feels hope.

* * *

He doesn't find her for years to come.

* * *

**Mwuahahaaa! (that was an evil laugh). I sincerely appreciate your reviews. There will be one more chapter after this to conclude this story. Will it be a happy ending? Or will they all go up in metaphorical flames? ^_^**


	6. The End

**Title: Oblivion - The End**

**Author: MeteorLeopard (HoneyBadger)**

**So... the last chapter. It is short. Please leave lots of hate-mail.**

* * *

He is going through the list of new recruits into his division when he stops. Her face is looking impassively back at him from the photograph beside her name. Black hair, dark eyes, serious face but smiling lips. He can't breathe.

"Taicho?" Matsumoto asks from where she is lounging on the couch. He realises that he's shaking.

"She's here," he says, the paper shivering in his hands. And suddenly the years of waiting don't seem so long anymore.

* * *

She's standing on the field with the other new recruits. How had he missed her going to the Academy? He'd been scanning the people entering the Academy for seven years. Just as he'd been searching Rukongai for seven years. Just as he'd been keeping track of all missing people for seven years.

He overhears some gossip about her.

_'That girl.'_

_'Doesn't look so tough.'_

_'Rumours?'_

_'Skipping the Academy? No.'_

But Toushirou believes the rumours, because Karin is like that. Never one for tradition. He tries hard not to smile too widely. He listens as his Third Seat calls out instructions about new training regimes for them and all talk ceases. He watches as Karin is paired up with another boy. They seem to know each other.

He shakes his head clear of all thoughts. It is alright. Later, he will give her the pill. He has carried it for years. Finally, he'll have to bear its burden no longer. Then she will remember him and it will all be alright. He will hold her like he used to. He will once more entrust the star clip to her, handing her his heart and his trust, like he did the first time.

The training finishes and Karin gives the boy a clap on the shoulder. Another girl approaches, smile on her lips, flicking a finger at Karin's forehead. Karin laughs. A heavy feeling settles into his stomach.

His hand tightens around the pill. Later, he thinks. Later.

* * *

He has called her to his office. She has been in the 10th for a month now. He has watched her carefully. She is strong, like the brother that she doesn't remember. And sometimes, she is gentle like the sister she doesn't remember. Sometimes she laughs with her friends and comrades and mostly he is jealous. She used to laugh with him.

Now, in his office, she bows.

It's not right. He tells her to straighten up. He asks her how the Division is. She's surprised but answers that she likes it; she has learned a lot. He hands her the papers he is using as a cover for this meeting. Their fingers brush. Karin's eyes flick to his and his to hers, but that is it. She takes the papers, steps back, gives a bow, and leaves the room.

Outside, she is greeted by her friends. Toushirou sees them from his window and feels stung. She doesn't know it, but her distance is killing him all over again. He has to give her the pill soon.

* * *

He tries again, two months later. Matsumoto has taken a liking to the girl and literally dragged her into the office. Of course, Matsumoto knows what Karin means to him, so she has befriended the girl on purpose.

Matsumoto flops onto the couch. "Taicho! Have tea with us!"

He glances up from his work and notes the opportunity for what it is. But perhaps his delay is too long, because Karin is smirking at him. "Too busy for tea, Taicho?" she asks, and he is far too pleased to hear that she is mocking him.

He lets himself smirk back at her. "I'm almost thinking you don't want me around, Shiho-san." That's her name now. Shiho Karin. He's just glad that, somehow, she kept her first name.

She grins at him and his stomach feels tight and happy. She laughs and dumps herself on the couch, watching as Matsumoto gets the tea. Toushirou can feel the pill in his pocket, burning him. And when Matsumoto hands him a cup to pass to Karin, he has the pill ready to drop into it, where it will dissolve in an instant. And she will remember.

But then she looks at him and he looks at her and he recalls her happiness with her friends. With her life. Urahara's parting words from seven years prior ring in his head. _But remember, Hitsugaya-taicho. Each soul can only bear one set of memories. You understand, don't you?_

He does. And his hand closes over the pill as he hands her the cup. She drinks it and thanks him, saying that it's not half bad. Then she leaves and Matsumoto asks him why he didn't do it. But he smiles to himself and sighs.

He takes a last look at the blue pill, still clutched in his hand, while he watches from his window as Karin leaves the building. She pauses, turns her head to look back and sees him. They both know, right then, that something passes between them. And it's alright. Because he still has his resolve and now she can see him.

He crushes the past in his fist.

* * *

**END**


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